Don't Go Head to Head - Use Your Heart

In the fascinating world of negotiation, it turns out it's not just about the numbers or the cold, hard facts. It's about people. This month, I am inspired by a book I am reading: "Never Split the Difference" by Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator who has revolutionised the way we understand and engage in the negotiation process.

Negotiation isn't about going head-to-head in a battle of wits or willpower. It's about connecting, understanding, and using empathy as a strategic tool. Voss emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence in negotiations, urging negotiators to listen closely, use their heart, and understand the fears, desires, and needs of the other party.


Finding Common Ground: The Gender Perspective
An intriguing aspect of negotiation, as Voss points out, is the approach towards finding commonality. It's observed that women often excel in negotiation scenarios by instinctively looking for common ground and building trust. This approach is not about manipulating the other party but about genuinely understanding and finding a path to mutual benefit. Trust is the cornerstone of any successful negotiation, and it's built through empathy, active listening, and validation of the other party's emotions and concerns.

A Lesson from the Past: The 1970 Hostage Situation
Voss's experience and insights are grounded in real-world scenarios, including harrowing hostage situations. He recounts the 1970 incident where a negotiation's failure to build trust and find common ground led to tragic outcomes. This example serves as a stark reminder of the stakes involved in negotiation and the importance of prioritizing human connection over confrontation.

Building Trust Through Empathy
"Never Split the Difference" teaches us that building trust is not just a nice-to-have; it's a strategic necessity. By approaching negotiations with an open heart and a willingness to understand the other side, we pave the way for more meaningful and beneficial outcomes. The book guides us on how to listen actively, use tactical empathy, and make the other party feel heard and understood.

The Mae Approach: Mindfulness, Adaptability, and Empathy. 
In every negotiation, remember that understanding the other person, finding common ground, and building trust are not just strategies but the essence of connecting as human beings.

I encourage you to approach your next negotiation not as a battle to be won, but as an opportunity for collaboration and growth. Let's use our hearts, find commonality, and build bridges of trust that lead to shared success. I know that what I have taken from this book will 

Warm regards,
Jonathan Broekman