By Jonathan Broekman, Principal at Homes of Distinction
Dear valued clients and friends,
As we step into the final stretch of the year, there’s a familiar mix of anticipation and pressure that seems to hang in the air. Diaries fill, to-do lists grow and conversations drift toward next year’s plans, as if the turning of the calendar will magically reset everything.
It won’t, of course.
Midnight on 31 December only changes the date - unless we decide it will mean more. That realisation has shaped a theme I’ve already started working with, both personally and with my team: Forming, Storming, Norming, Performing.
You may have come across these stages before. They were first identified in the 1960s by Bruce Tuckman and later expanded with his colleague Mary Ann Jensen. Although created for understanding group dynamics, I’ve found that the model applies beautifully to the cycles every individual, family or business moves through.
And, coming straight off October’s reflection on roots and fruit, it feels like the right place to continue the conversation - because the way we grow always follows a rhythm.
Forming - The Hopeful Beginning
Forming is the stage where something new starts taking shape.
A team is assembled. A decision is made. A goal is set. Everyone is usually polite, optimistic and a little unsure. People tend to focus on themselves - how they’ll fit in, what’s expected of them and whether they’re up for the challenge.
In life, forming can look like the early days of a relationship, the start of a fitness journey, the first week in a new job or simply a decision to “do better”. It’s exciting, full of possibility - but still fragile.
It’s the season where roots begin to push into the soil, quietly, cautiously.
Storming - Where the Real Work Begins
Then comes storming.
This is where ideals meet reality.
Tension surfaces.
Differences in personality become louder.
We bump into each other’s habits, expectations and blind spots.
In teams, this is where conflict shows up.
In families, it’s where misunderstandings take place.
In our personal goals, it’s where discipline fades and resistance creeps in.
Storming isn’t a sign that something is failing - it’s proof that it’s alive.No tree grows without pushing against the earth around it. No team, no goal, no person moves forward without meeting some friction.
Storming is uncomfortable… and that’s the point! It forces honesty. It tests commitment. It pulls hidden issues to the surface so they can be addressed instead of avoided.
Norming - The Quiet Shift Toward Strength
When the dust settles, something remarkable happens.
We start understanding one another.
We make peace with differences.
Roles become clearer, trust grows and people begin taking responsibility for the shared goal.
In our lives, norming is the moment routines finally stick - when we’ve pushed through the difficult beginning and things start feeling natural. It’s the stage where a team becomes a team… and a person becomes consistent.
This is when roots deepen.
Not glamorous. Not public. But foundational.
Performing - The Season of Fruit
At this point, things start to flow. Teams operate with confidence. Individuals show strength they didn’t have a few months before. Decision-making becomes faster and clearer. There’s space for creativity because energy is no longer wasted on friction.
This is the fruit we admire - and long for.
But it only exists because of everything that happened before it.
And even then, high-performing teams - and high-performing people - often cycle back through earlier stages. A change in leadership, a new challenge, a shift in priorities… and the process starts again. Not as a setback, but as a natural part of being alive and growing.
Why This Matters as We Head Toward December
As South Africans, our festive season arrives in Summer - a time when the world around us is bursting with colour. It’s tempting to imagine we should be performing at full strength too. But formation and storming matter just as much as the harvest.
Roots matter just as much as fruit.
And the work we do now shapes the year ahead far more than any New Year’s resolution ever will.
“Give me six hours to chop down a tree and
I will spend the first four sharpening the axe."
~ Abraham Lincoln
So as we move into December, here’s my encouragement:
- If you’re forming something new, be patient.
- If you’re storming, don’t panic - you’re not failing, you’re maturing.
- If you’re norming, keep steady; consistency compounds.
- If you’re performing, celebrate it - but stay rooted.
Every stage has value and none can be skipped.
As You Prepare for the Holidays…
Use this season to check in with the areas of your life that matter:
- Your family table - are you truly present there?
- Your friendships - are you investing where it matters?
- Your health - are you moving your body because you care for it or because you’re chasing a number?
- Your personal growth - what stage are you in right now?
Leadership, whether at work or at home, is simply the act of guiding growth - including our own. And growth always begins below the surface.
Wishing you clarity, courage and calm as we move into this final stretch of the year.
Warm regards,
