Do's and don'ts when dating online

Back in the "good old days" of dating, building a relationship seemed so much more predictable and straightforward. But with the advent of the Age of Information, practically everything we do from banking to shopping is achieved with a few clicks of a button or swipes of a card.
 

That being said, there's no denying that the dating game has changed entirely. From paid subscription sites like OkCupid designed to match people with similar wants and desires to dating apps like Tinder and Bumble for surface-level interactions, your options are practically limitless. 
 

With so many avenues to explore, it's no surprise that many may feel overwhelmed by these new rules for social interactions. We take a closer look at the do's and don'ts of online dating to help bring clarity to the digital deluge!

What to do
 

Let's take a quick look at the aspects of online dating you should take advantage of and how to make it work for you.

• Be open-minded
   

There is a common misconception that people who date online are turning to this avenue as a last resort or that they are desperate. But that's not at all true. There are plenty of people from exciting backgrounds that simply prefer the safety of text-based communication before stepping out of their bubbles. It's important to keep an open mind when connecting with new people. You never know until you know.

 

• Create a catchy online profile
   

This is your opportunity to stand out from the thousands of other online profiles out there. You need to capture the attention of the people you want to date by specifically highlighting your passions and interests in a fun and unique way. Consider the attributes you're looking for in someone else. Without revealing too much, you want to give those viewing your profile as much insight into you as possible.

• The opening line
   

So you've just matched with a potential love interest but now the next step is to spark up a conversation. Try to avoid the general cliche of "Hi..." or "Hey, how are you". Small talk is great for moments in an elevator ride to quell awkward silence, but it simply falls flat in text. Avoid being ghosted for being boring and start a conversation because you actually have a personality. 
 

You've read through their profile, so choose one of their interests as a starting point or focus on things you have in common. If all else fails, start it off with a round of 21 questions and go from there! There's no excuse for boring small talk.

• Be aware and stay safe
   

Most of our Netflix viewers have probably seen the Tinder Swindler. If you haven't, do so before creating your profile! Online dating, while convenient for helping you meet your match, is also convenient for scammers and criminals to meet your bank account or worse. Be very careful about the sort of things you share online and pay close attention to the sort of personal details you're willing to make public.
 

When meeting people for the first time, always ensure it's in public. Trust your intuition. If you're getting a weird vibe, get out of there.

What NOT to do
 

Following from our previous point about staying safe, there is a list of aspects to online dating you would do best to avoid. Let's take a look at the most common ones.

• Being too open
   

Be extremely guarded about the sort of private details you share with people online. Never disclose personal details about your address and where you work. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being overly cautious.

• Being too trusting
   

Regardless of whether or not you've met, take everything said to you with a pinch of salt. It will be foolhardy to expect everyone to be as honest or as open as you are. Remember one golden rule. People can be whoever they want to be online. So if it sounds too good to be true, it most likely is.

• Basing your choices off of photos
   

This is something that 90% of users will be doing whether they're aware of it or not. The fact of the matter is, most people will either swipe right or left based on the initial first picture. Profile be damned. This is because it's super easy to be lured in by attractive photos that can often be airbrushed or over 15 years old.
 

We know it's a cliche, but in the world of online dating, personality trumps all. If you're an adult and looking for something serious then you'll be doing yourself a disservice if you don't take the time to value and consider people's personality traits above their best profile pic of all time.

• Falling for or using corny pick-up lines
   

Small talk is one thing, but trying too hard comes across as awkward and pathetic. People can promise you practically anything online. Some people like to write cheesy one-liners like "Looking to spoil the person of my dreams with roses and candlelit dinner." Newsflash,  nobody's doing that for a person they barely know.
 

Pickup artistry on the other hand is both immature and completely cringeworthy. If you think your first message should be "If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together." be aware that to any self-respecting person, this translates to "I still live in my mom's basement."

• Remember, this isn't a boutique
   

Don't fall into the trap of trying to juggle too many options at once. There are plenty of people who engage in what is known as "online shopping" and it can be both exhausting and off-putting. If you've matched with someone you're interested in then there's no need to keep searching. 
 

If you're lucky enough to get a good thing going then it might be the best decision to simply delete your profile and work on the relationship. Remember one thing, online dating is the vehicle for your journey, don't let it become the main focus. Never breaking the ice or making the effort to meet someone because you are too busy juggling an abundance of profiles is self-defeating.
 

At the end of the day, it's important to remember to have fun! Don't take anything too seriously and keep in mind that 9 out of 10 of your interactions will likely go nowhere. Don't be disheartened by rejection, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Especially online!
 

Read more of our trending news stories and get the latest property tips here - Homes of Distinction Blog
 

To contact one of our Real Estate Agents, follow the link: https://www.homesofdistinction.co.za/agents/

Homes of Distinction holds a Fidelity Fund Certificate issued by the Property Practitioners Regulatory Authority.